Our Weekend

T was off last night so instead of writing we enjoyed some time together. It’s early in the morning and the family is still sleeping so I’ve got a few minutes.

Yesterday morning T got home early, around 3a.m. I was up treating a low blood sugar when he got home. I got up for my day a couple hours later and read my Bible and spent a little time in prayer when T.J decided he was ready to start his day. He was cranky so we ended up sitting on the floor reading books to help keep him quiet so the rest of the house could sleep.

I was able to get in 15 minutes of exercise once he was ready to go in his high chair and eat. He ate a little bit and then decided he wanted to get down on the floor with me.

After getting dressed and eating breakfast and feeding E, I set the timer for 40 minutes and cleaned the house during that time before we went outside in the nice cool air. I cleaned and vacuumed out the car and did some weed eating. I hadn’t used the weed eater in so long I’d forgotten how to start it but I had T show me yesterday. While cutting the grass I found an old soccer ball so I set up a couple boards to be used as goals and showed E how to kick it through the opposite goal. We spent the morning playing hide and seek and tag and enjoying the cool morning until it was lunch time.

After lunch me and T.J took a nap and E went with her daddy to the bank. She felt special going out just with daddy. When they got back we decided to go visit his parents. We packed a cooler of stuff to eat for dinner and then headed out there and visited until around 7:30 or so last night. The kids got to play with their cousins that were out there and E helped her Grandpa milk the cow.

We got home around 8:30, put the kids to bed and then got to enjoy our evening together.

This afternoon I’m going to bring the kids to their friend’s birthday party. Later this evening we are going to have church and host it at our house. We home church meaning we meet with other believers in each other’s homes instead of a church building, taking turns hosting. We us usually meet Sunday morning but since T is scheduled to work Sunday’s for the next month or so every one very generously offered to meet on Saturday’s so that he  didn’t have to miss church for a long time. Isn’t that love in a body of believers?

This morning I read Ezekiel chapter 32-34 and it occurred to me that when Jesus was referring to himself as the Good Shepherd, chapter 34 may have been one of the passages of scripture He was referring to. (I know there are quite a few places in the OT referring to God as the Good Shepherd, it’s just that this one is new to me since I haven’t read through Ezekiel before.)

Yesterday when taking my vitamins I remembered this post I had written back in July about taking them.  https://snowinlove.wordpress.com/2017/07/25/learning-some-new-health-info/

A few months later after faithfully taking them daily along with Dr. Berg’s recommendation of drinking wheat grass juice powder, I have had no relief of symptoms. Things have not improved at all. For now, I’m going to continue taking the vitamins. Essentially they are concentrated vegetable pills with herbs and I know extra vege’s can only help me but still, I’m disappointed. I’ve been reading some more research that is showing cutting out diary may help hormone issue but since I already don’t drink milk and my diet is already super limited, I don’t think I want to cut out cheese for the sake of an experiment right now. Anyways, I’ll share if I do run across something that works. Have a happy Saturday!

 

 

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This is my 200th post!

Wow! That’s hard to believe! Life has changed so much since I started this blog and it’s really neat to get to click through each month for the last few years and see what was going on at that time. This blog is constantly evolving and I’m thankful for those who read and comment for coming along for the ride with me. This is my little corner of the internet where I pour out my creativity, track my goals, share about my relationship with God and the day to day details of our lives. It’s where I often process my emotions, explore new topics and share news. Writing over the last few years has grown me as a person in a lot of ways. It’s made me a more mindful person and has helped me to live my life more deliberately. It has given me an outlet to organize my thoughts. Blogging has helped me through seasons of depression. It helps me to get out of my own mind when I’m stuck there and put my thoughts onto “paper” and get them out. Every time I see a post has been read I feel a connection to whoever that unknown reader may be and I’m reminded that I’m being heard and I’m not alone. So, thank you for being there for me. I hope as time goes by my words can be ones that edify and that this can be a place where you come to get encouraged and refreshed. In the future, if there is a topic you’d like me to write about, leave a comment and I’ll see what I can do.

I got on here tonight to continue my “journaling” of our lives lately. I didn’t even know this was going to be my 200th post until I saw the stats informing me.

This morning my Bible reading time was longer than usual as my Bible reading plan included four chapters. I read about Ezekiel’s wife dying and it really grabbed my attention because I don’t remember ever reading it before. Ezekiel’s total trust in God and his immediate, uncomplaining, unwavering obedience and devotion to God left me kind of dumbfounded. I prayed God would help me trust and obey Him like Ezekiel. I was also reading about the destruction of Tyrus. I spent a little bit of time reading through Matthew Henry’s commentary trying to get a grasp on the connection between the prince of Tyrus and Lucifer.

After reading I just had time for a quick shower before the kids woke up early. They wanted to go outside and wait for daddy to come home and it was kind of funny that we were in the same spots when he came home as when he left.

Thursday is my town day and I like to leave early in the morning while every one is still fresh and the kids bellies are full from breakfast. I unloaded the dishwasher, spent no more than 5 minutes cleaning out the fridge so it would be ready to put groceries in when we got back and got me and the kids ready to go.

E was invited to one of her friends birthday parties this weekend and it’s going to be a costume party so we first went to T.J Maxx and I let her pick out a costume. It’s a blue and black sparkly butterfly costume with enormous wings and a face mask. She loves it! We went to a couple more stores picking out a gift and wrapping for another party she’s going to later on. (Yes, her social life is much more interesting than my own!)

We went grocery shopping for the week at Kroger. The kids have their routine down when we go there. They want to ride in a car cart and get a free cookie from the deli. They get so excited about going to kroger! We got home around 11:00 and I unloaded the groceries and fixed some macaroni and cheese. (hear me being all southern? fixed mac and cheese? lol) We had nap time/quiet time and when the hour was up we sat and read several stories from the Jesus Story book Bible. (while I drank coffee and tried to wake up!) BTW- If you’re looking for a colorful children’s Bible story book- the more I read this the more I like it.

E has been eagerly anticipating our trip to kroger today so I could get butter so we could make applesauce cookies from the apples they picked last week. Baking with a 2 year old and a four year old can be um, interesting. T.J would not stop screaming because I was having them take turns with the ingredients and every time it was E’s turn he would scream and cry like his heart was breaking and he’d never get a chance to put something in the bowl again. I didn’t want him to wake up T so I ended up putting him in his high chair with a bowl and measuring cups and spoons and giving him his own ingredients to make a mess with. And boy was it a mess! By the time we were done the kitchen smelled amazing but looked like a tornado made out of flour had come through the place. There was so many dishes it was one of those messes where you just kind of stand there for a moment taking it in. Thankfully the kids uncle was outside cutting down trees and I told them to go watch him and that entertained them while I cleaned up. (recipe we used in the link!)

https://www.google.com/amp/www.marthastewart.com/314405/iced-oatmeal-applesauce-cookies%3famp

I drizzled icing on the cookies and the kids each had one before I brought them outside to play. It was cloudy again this afternoon and felt much cooler than last week. T woke up and we sat outside watching one tree fall after another while T’s brother in law knocked and cut them down. Slowly we began to be able to see the field and pond that makes a beautiful view on the other side of the thick woods. Our yard has always been tightly enclosed with trees but now the sun shines back there and it’s lovely. T picked out tree he wants to hang a tire swing from.

We spent a couple hours outside before bringing in the very dirty kids and showering them. We had frozen pizzas for dinner- I found some grain free pizzas at kroger. Instead of a wheat crust it’s made out of chicken! T ate with us before heading out. I put on a 20 minute or so educational video for the kids and sat and read my book. Instead of doing any more housework I put the kids to bed early and called it a night. Time for mommy to relax!

I’m really liking this on-line journaling thing so thanks for reading!

 

 

 

Starting to get into the swing of our new schedule

T got home early this morning, right after I woke up. He was all excited to show me photos of a tractor he saw on craigslist but I’m not sure at 5:30 a.m I was very enthusiastic about discussing the pros and cons of different types of tractors lol. I tried! He was ready to go to bed so I gathered up my stuff out of our bedroom and bathroom and started the day getting ready in the kitchen. Night shift life!

While reading about the coming destruction of Jerusalem prophesied by Ezekiel I read this verse, “And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none.” Ezekiel 22:30. It made me so thankful that I have Jesus to stand in the gap for me!

This is the workout video I do more than any other. When I first started doing it some of the positions like the downward facing dog pose was difficult for me but I’ve gotten stronger and more flexible.

E woke up before her brother so we had time to just lay on the couch together and cuddle. She told me she was going to marry her brother when she was older and then when I told her that wouldn’t work out she asked if she could marry daddy and then asked if she could marry me. She also told me she wished I was a queen ant having lots of babies. Classic examples of conversations with E ha ha!

I made the kids hardboiled eggs and toast and started some laundry and unloaded the dishwasher before getting ready to head to story time. On Wednesday’s at 10:00 the library does a story time geared more towards preschoolers. I have brought E just about every Wednesday since she was 18 months old. They read a few books, played a couple learning games and did a craft. There is usually anywhere from 10-20 kids there.

We came home and had lunch and then quiet time/nap time. I spent some time ordering school photo prints, and answering e-mails and texts. After getting caught up on dishes and laundry I helped E fill out a post card that she had decorated for one of her Aunt’s and we went to the mailbox together to send it off. We had in the mailbox some updated photos from one of our Compassion children. E was thrilled and I’m glad she has a relationship with a child all the way in Uganda.

https://www.compassion.com/m/default.htm If you’re interested in learning more about Compassion International here’s a link.

Me and T brought the kids outside to play. It got cloudy and cooled off considerably. We had a really nice time sitting on the tail gate of his pick up and talking while the kids played. It was probably my favorite part of the day.

E talked me into letting them have a bubble bath in the jacuzzi instead of a shower. I put waaay to much bubble bath in and the bubbles got really out of hand much to the kids delight! I wish the internet was fast enough to load photos right now- T.J was practically buried in bubbles!

While I bathed the kids T made us all dinner and we got to eat together and cleaned the kitchen together before he left. Isn’t he an awesome guy? The kids started a tradition where we go out on the porch and yell, “Good-bye!’ and “love you!” at the top of our lungs until he is out of sight.

After dinner I did a little bit of Mother Goose Time preschool with the kids and then I sat and relaxed with my book while they watched Preschool Prep videos.

I vacuumed some but that was about it before feeding the kids some warm apple sauce with cream and then tucking them in.

On Wednesday’s at noon in our area the tornado sirens get tested every week. When I was a newly wed I started this thing where whenever I hear the sirens I say “I love you” so that when my husband hears the sirens he can know I’m saying I love him. Today when the sirens went off I heard E start shouting from the other room, “I LOVE YOU DADDY!” It made me smile to have built such a fun little thing into our family culture. The funny thing is we say it even when we know he’s sleeping or is not where he will hear the sirens. It’s been so many years it’s just something we do now!

Do you have any small traditions or things you do that are a part of your family culture?

 

Can I be chatty again tonight?

The kids are in bed and it’s time for me to chat with you about our day!

This morning I read Ezekiel chapters 20 and 21. It’s been really heavy reading through Ezekiel and sometimes I wonder what the take away is supposed to be for me. This morning after reading those heavy chapters I made this list of things I can learn about God from those chapters.

  • God is just
  • God sees everything
  • God won’t let wickedness go unpunished
  • God’s answer to my questions may be different than what I expect to hear

I wrote a while back about taking prayer walks in the morning outside. I haven’t been doing that anymore since it became spider season and the wood spiders or whatever they are string themselves every where and I don’t want to go out early in the morning! Instead I have been using a free app on my phone called PrayerMate that mixes up your prayer request and presents them to you a couple at a time. It also has devotionals on it.

 

For probably the last couple years I’ve been doing different 15 minute workouts put out by fitness blender. This was a slow and easy one to wake me up and get my blood flowing this morning.

Before the kids woke up ad my husband got home I was able to get a shower in and tidy up our bedroom and bathroom. Around 7:00 they woke up and T got home. T went to bed and I made the kids french toast and sausage and myself eggs and sausage.

I was able to unload the dishwasher and take out the trash before getting the kids dressed and ready and everything loaded up to go to toddler story time.The theme of the day for the toddler story time was “our bodies”. Afterwards I invited a mom there and her daughter to join us at the park. We hung out until it got close to lunch time and started heating up.

We hired my brother in law to come with a tractor and do some work on our property. When we got home my kids entertained themselves while I made lunch by standing on the porch and watching their Uncle knock down brush and trees.

We ate lunch and I managed to clean the guest/kids bathroom before it was time for nap time/ quiet time. I put out a couple activities from E’s preschool curriculum that she could do on her own while I rested.

My husband had made an appointment for our van to get worked on. The radio and some of the electronics stop working on it. I had been asking him to let me take it in because I was worried he wasn’t getting enough sleep. I was glad that he ended up asking me to take it in so he could go back to sleep. He really needed the rest. I ended up having to entertain the kids for almost an hour and a half at the car dealership before being told that it wasn’t an easy fix like they thought and that they would have to replace the whole radio next week when the parts came in. I had brought our bag of library books and we read through almost the whole thing while we waited. Before we had left the house E didn’t want to leave because she wanted to watch her uncle on the tractor but I told her she could bring some change from her piggy bank and pick a snack from the vending machine in the waiting room. She was all about that!

When I got home I laid E down for a nap since she had fallen asleep on the way home and then plowed through the laundry that needed done. I made a cup of coffee, put on a learning numbers video for the kids and got the bills paid, the junk mail shredded and a meal menu and a grocery list made for when I go shopping Thursday.

Before T left for work we walked around our newly cleared land and discussed plans for our future. In one day our cleared land was doubled in size- if not more. I never could have imagined how nice it would be cleared.

T left and then I brought our dirty kids inside, ate dinner, bathed them and then cleaned up the kitchen. I tucked them in spending some time to lay next to E and take turns listening to each others heart beats. I told her it sounded like her heart was saying she had a good time playing at the park today. She listened to my heart and said, “Your heart is saying you had so much fun playing with your kids E and T.J at the park. And it says you have diabetes but when God comes back you won’t have diabetes anymore!” It surprised me she said that but I’m thankful she know Jesus is coming back and it will be an awesome event!

Thanks for letting me share about our day! I enjoyed writing this!

Can I share my day with you?

I previously wrote about how my husband was on a great schedule and how it was going to come to an end soon. He’s back on a kind of difficult schedule for a while and to be totally honest I tend to get a little depressed when he works these hours.

I didn’t come on here just to whine though! I do have an idea! I made a small list of things that bring me happiness. Things that I enjoy doing. At the top of the list I made is sharing about our life on this blog. I usually feel like I shouldn’t. I feel like that when I write it needs to be applicable to others and that just writing about our day wouldn’t be beneficial or even interesting to anyone else.

I thought about it though, and since I know I normally get a bit down during this shift and I know that recording my life with my children makes me happy, maybe you wouldn’t mind seeing posts like these.  I think the act of writing about my life helps me to see my blessings in black and white and makes me realize how good my life is! I hope you enjoy them! Please pray for me during this time and also share with me in the comments what kind of things you do during difficult seasons that bring you joy.

First thing today was Mama’s morning time:
Quiet time (bible reading, prayer and a hot cup of coffee!) I’m currently reading through the book of Ezekiel

I recently found this youtube channel for diastase safe workouts. I did this one today

I made the bed, (at least I got it ready for my husband to get in it), got dressed for the day, started a load of laundry and tidied up the master bedroom and bathroom.
A little after 7:00 the children started to wake up and my husband got home. My husband went to sleep and me and the kids had breakfast and I got the dishwasher unloaded
E wanted to know if I would wrestle her. Before 8 a.m wrestling is not high on my priority list but last night I listened to this interview by Rachel Stafford and I was encouraged to set the timer for just 10 minutes and wrestle with my kids like there was nothing else on earth I’d rather be doing. They loved it!

After that I was ready to sit down so we read from The Jesus Story Book Bible and a couple library books.
I folded and turned over a load of laundry then brought the kids to play in the yard while it was still cool out.
I sat and read some and E made a mud bakery for me to shop from.

I cleared off and sweep the porches and watered the flowers, working slowly enjoying my time.
I brought out for the kids warm bowls of fresh from the crock pot apple sauce that I had prepared last night from the apples the kids picked last week when I took them to a pick your own farm.
When it was time to go in the kids were so dirty they had to go straight to the shower!
After I made myself another cup of coffee, we started in on our Mother Goose Time. We played a “would you rather” question game, a phonics game, and read an “I can read book” that came with an activity to help the child recognize the words. I was really surprised but towards the end of our phonics game E was recognizing the words, “dog” “frog” and “fog”. While doing the I can read activity she was able to spot the differences between the words “he” and “she”.

 
We had lunch and then I laid T.J down for a nap and set up E with crayons, paper, a pile of books and play dough on a cookie sheet. I set the timer for an hour. The rule during our quiet hour is she has to entertain herself quietly while T.J and I nap. If you’re interested it was the article in the link below that got me started on quiet time and helped me to start getting the rest I need.

https://powerofmoms.com/mommys-naptime-101-2/

Quiet hour was over and my husband got up about the same time. The afternoon was spent doing dishes, picking up toys, mopping and spending time relaxing with my husband.
I drove to town by myself while T watched the kids and I went to the library that belongs to our homeschool co-op and spent a lovely time browsing curriculum in silence. I returned some things and picked up a couple things for the kids before stopping buy the grocery store to get a few items.
When I had got home T had already started supper so we finished preparing it together and had a family dinner before he went to work. His shift starts later in the evening than usual so it was neat to get to do that. He played with the kids while I cleaned the kitchen and then we all went outside to wave good bye.
I put on one of the preschool prep videos for the kids and kicked up my feet and read some before starting their evening routine and putting them to bed.

Now that the kids are in bed, I’ve looked over E’s preschool lesson for tomorrow and I am enjoying the quiet as I write. It’s been a nice day and thank you for reading! It was an ordinary day but as I wrote about today I felt so immensely blessed, it really made me happy!

 

Letting go to grow, grace to myself

Before you dive into reading this post let me share something with you. Typically when I write a post I won’t publish it right away. I’ll save it and then agonize about it for a while wondering if it’s good enough and worrying that I may have misspelled words or forgot commas. In keeping with the theme of this post, I’m not going to do that. I typed my thoughts out here pretty quickly and I’m going to go ahead and hit the publish button. You’ll understand what I mean after you read it. Here’s to grace!

A couple weeks back was picture day for our homeschool co-op. Way in advance I signed up for the best time slot for us, bought E’s outfit, decided how I would do her hair and the night before I had every thing all ready and chores done in plenty of time to head out the door. I was feeling pretty good about having it all together!
Right before loading up on time with even an allotted amount of extra time still available I opened up my email to see the address of where we were going. The e-mail had been deleted and I couldn’t find it. I called every one I knew in the co-op. No one answered. I couldn’t get on the co-ops website because I lost the e-mail with the password on it. I started to panic. I immediately was so angry at myself. I told myself that I had ruined the morning and that I was a horrible mother and that now my child wouldn’t be in the year book because I would be late and miss the time slot I had signed up for. I started driving to a church I thought it might be at when I got a call from my husband that he had found the deleted email. Except it didn’t make me any happier because I was on the other side of town and would miss my 5 minute time slop by 5 minutes. I speed there any ways and rushed in. When I went in another child was getting their photo taken. “it’s too late.” I thought defeated. I was totally surprised when the photographer said she would get Ella next and even more surprised when I observed that the other moms were trickling in late and none of them seemed stressed about it. No one cared.

When I got home I apologized to my husband for being short on the phone and explained I was really upset thinking that E would not get her photo in the yearbook. “I’m sure they would have got you in even if you were later than you were.” he said. It took me by surprise because it was a thought that had never crossed my mind. In that moment I had this little perspective shift of how I give grace to every one around me but never to myself. I would never not take a child’s photo because they were late but it never occurred to me that someone would extend that same grace to me. I thought about all the negative things I told myself that morning and how I would never ever treat someone else like that or hold them to the same standards. “Maybe I should be nice to myself I thought.” It was kind of a revolutionary thought for me- something I hadn’t thought of before. I thought to myself “Maybe I should try and give myself the same grace and kindness I give to other people- maybe I would be happier.”

This morning I got to put that little lesson into practical action.

Last night I learned that my husband was going to get today off from work. Woohoo! Three day weekend! I usually always get up between 5:00 and 5:30 a.m without exceptions but last night I decided to set the timer for 6:30 instead and let myself sleep in some on a day when we didn’t have much that needed done or any where to be.

After breakfast in my pajamas (which is a weird experience for me since I usually dress before the kids get up) I began to get ready for the day. My eye caught my calendar and saw that I had written down the details for a field trip at the discovery museum an hour and a half away with our homeschool group. I ignored it and reminded myself that it was 8:00- we didn’t have enough time to get ready and beside that I had just brought the kids swimming yesterday with E’s homeschool outdoors kids club.

I started to clean the bathroom but the nagging thought wouldn’t go away- I knew my husband would really want to go if he knew about it. I took a deep breath and told myself that his happiness and the fun our kids would have was more important than my desire to get stuff done.

I hesitantly ran it by my husband who immediately said, “Yes!” he wanted to go. I had to quickly prioritize what I was going to do because we needed to get out the house FAST if we were going to make it. Make-up? no time. Change E’s ratty looking shirt and do a cute hairstyle? no time. Pack a lunch? no time, there goes my diet plan. I was doing alright until I couldn’t find the hairbrush and then the negative thoughts came into my head, “Why did you sleep into 6:30!? You CANNOT ever sleep in because this is what happens- I can’t believe I..” And then I remembered that word GRACE and I stopped myself from thinking those thoughts. I reminded myself that I wanted to think to myself what I would tell to others. So as I shoved snacks for the kids in the backpack and quickly pulled together what we would need I responded to my previous thoughts with new ones, “It’s okay that you slept in until 6:30 on your day off. Lots of people do that, most sleep in later than 6:30. You’re a good mom for getting up before your kids so you can be ready to serve them no matter what. Besides, you didn’t know you were taking this trip today.”

On the way to the museum there was a few times I looked at the clock and inwardly began to stress about being late. I HATE being late. Even as a child I was very concerned about punctuality- have been my whole life. There was no way we would not be late and I had to tell myself it was okay. No one was depending on me- I wasn’t letting anybody down. Instead of groaning about being late I talked to my dad on the phone and got to hear what’s been going on in his life. I read my husband an article I’d been wanting to read him and we discussed it. It was a nice time.

When we got there late you know what happened? Every one in our group was still standing around giving extra time to anyone who might be late. No one knew we were going to come so no one was waiting for us in particular. I thought about the word grace and was thankful that it was being extended to anybody who might be running late. I was glad I had enjoyed the ride up and didn’t stress about it because in the end it didn’t matter.

I had one last test of my perfectionism- I had to make new friends with no make-up on and my hair a mess. To make matters worse I didn’t have time to pick up my new contacts that I needed so I couldn’t see very well. I was squinting to see people’s faces. I wanted to just stay quiet and hide my disheveled self but I gently reminded myself that being friendly was more important than people thinking I had it all together. I walked up to a woman, my eyes squinting, and held out my hand introducing myself. I found out our husbands know each other and our daughters have the same name. I’m glad I meet her and I’m looking forward to visiting with her again in the future.

I’m sharing a lot of lengthy personal thoughts to make these points- when we let go of perfectionism, when we show ourselves kindness and when we replace negative thoughts with positive one’s, great things can happen! Grace. It’s a good word.

Challenge: next time you begin to mentally beat yourself up, replace your thoughts with kind one’s. Choose to talk to yourself as kindly as you would someone you love.

Resources for grieving parents and their families

This week our family received the devastating news that my cousin’s 2 year old daughter passed away after battling SCID and the complications of a failed bone marrow transplant.

I’m listing here all the resources I know of geared towards parents who have a lost a child in case the grieving parents ever find themselves looking for resources.

This post is two fold as I’m also including tools and resources geared toward helping the family and friends of the bereaved support their loved ones.

There is a part of a blog by a mother who lost her daughter Emily at 7 months old. I was referred to this blog in the early days of my own grief and 6 years later I still follow it. Also contains a devotional based on the Psalms for grieving families.

https://www.raisingarrows.net/the-grieving-mother/

Steven and Mary Beth Chapman lost their five year old daughter and have been public with their grief including the music album Beauty Will Rise and the book Choosing To See which I’ve written about in the links below. Here is their story-

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/facing-crisis/holding-tight-through-the-loss-of-a-child

This is a list of resources- blog posts and books

http://www.epm.org/resources/2017/Mar/14/resources-those-whove-lost-child/

This past May as we remembered what would have been our son’s 6 birthday my sister in law sent me this article;

http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/letter-to-a-parent-grieving-the-loss-of-a-child

Here is a link to a post I wrote titled “books to read during when you’re grieving”- https://snowinlove.wordpress.com/2017/05/16/books-to-read-when-youre-grieving/

And also a list of music- https://snowinlove.wordpress.com/2017/05/05/grief-lamentation-and-worship/

For those wondering how to comfort your grieving loved one,

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2017/08/comfort-grieving-friend/

Nancy Guthrie and her husband lost two children at six months of age and her website is a ministry both for those who have experienced loss and also for those who love someone who is grieving.

http://www.nancyguthrie.com/about-nancy/

This ministry hosts a get away retreat to minister to grieving parents and yesterday I listened to the video on the home page of the website titled “what grieving people wish you knew” that I think is spot on.

Much love to those who are suffering tonight, I am praying for you.

“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” 2 Cor. 1:3-4

 

Written in loving memory of Lia Rose 9/9/15 – 9/15/17. Forever in our hearts

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Contentment and idols of the heart

At the moment I am enjoying a serene moment with my children sitting in the sandbox playing and me sitting in a lawn chair. This lovely moment really feels like a gracious gift from the Giver of all good things. The gentle breeze, the sound of geese in the distance, my children’s imaginations, the freshness of the air, the serenity of the woods. These are extravagant gifts from God that I am so unworthy of and yet I often fail to even notice them. To be honest when I stepped outside with the children I was feeling pretty grumpy because I was looking at all the yard work that’s not done and thinking what a mess the yard is. If I’m perfectly honest what came into my mind was a friends recently purchased home with a beautiful yard in a cooler area of the country and what came into my heart was covetousness or as the Bible also calls it, idolatry. (Col. 3:5)

What pricked my conscience so badly and grabbed a hold of my idolatrous heart and yanked it back into repentance and thanksgiving was this poem I’ve never read before by 8 year old Fanny Crosby who was accidentally blinded by a physician as an infant; (I read it in Randy Alcorn’s book Happiness)

Oh, what a happy child I am,
Although I cannot see!
I am resolved that in this world,
Contented I will be.

I’m ashamed that a blind 8 year old would choose to be happy in spite of her disability when I so often fail to even have that same resolve.

As a child Fanny told her mother that even given a choice she would choose to remain blind so that the first face she would see would be the face of God.

Oh to have faith like a child!

Try inserting your own trials into this poem. For me it would look something like this;

Oh, what a happy child I am (child of God in this case since I’m an adult!)
Although I bear the grief of child loss and the daily struggle of a chronic disease
I am resolved that in this world,
Contented I will be

Then use your God given imagination to replace these trials with the glory of endless bliss and healing in eternity with Christ.

Fanny looked forward to the primary joy of seeing God and the secondary joy of restored sight. Just think, in the presence of God surrounded by the family of God I’m going to get to see my child alive, find out what color his eyes are and taste food with out injecting insulin. What a cause for celebration! What gifts the Father has lavished upon me! What hope and joy and happiness I experience today because I’ve been promised that coming day!

2 Cor. 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

1 Thess. 5:18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

Dear Heavenly Father, The Creator and Giver of all good things,
Forgive me for covetous thoughts and discontentment. May things I desire never become idols, distracting me from seeing all the good things You’ve given me. Thank you for my life, for my family, for my home, for food and clothing and all the endless provisions in my life. Most of all, thank You for the provision of Your Son Jesus who was crucified on my behalf and rose again, forever making intercession on behalf. Make me to be content with my life and circumstances. I believe Your word when it says that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and that I can be content in whatever state or circumstance I am in. Work the power of the Holy Spirit in me. In the name of Jesus my Saviour I pray, A-men

Where I disappeared to and what I’m working on

I kind of disappeared didn’t I? Life has been good here in Snow land. My husband usually works rotating shift work but for the last month he’s been on a job assignment where he is working typically five eight hour days. It’s been like a dream really as I’ve gotten to live the schedule I’ve dreamed about having. I’ve pretty much totally disconnected from technology and have been soaking up this precious time that’s going to end soon when his schedule changes again. It’s been amazing to experience family dinners every night and dad helping put the kids to bed and Saturday fun days and church together on Sunday. Going to bed together and waking up at the same time makes me really happy! Anyways, I’m not complaining about his job, just really, really enjoying this reprieve. And he is too!

Life has been super full, in a good way! I am full on homeschooling E for PreK using the Mother Goose Time curriculum. We’ve joined our towns homeschool co-op and have really been enjoying the support and opportunities that that offers us. I snuck this photo of E with my iPhone while she was getting her photo done for the co-op year book. Isn’t she adorable!?

We’ve added into our routine 2 new programs that the library has started, a toddler story time geared to kids T.J’s age and a 1,000 books before kindergarten program. (Not as hard as it sounds.) Yesterday we stopped by our homeschool co-ops library and took a look around and checked out a couple preschool phonic videos.

Right now the weather is starting to cool down and I’m loving it! It’s still getting up to 90 or so in the middle of the day but in the morning and evening ti feels delicious out! It’s getting close to fall! I’ve been bringing the kids to a different park probably 3-5 times a week either in the morning or evening to try and soak up every moment of my favorite time of year. The cool air makes me happy!

Friday we are planning on going to the local fair with our homeschool co-op. It will really feel like fall has begun then!

The reason I got on here today is because I’ve been thinking about my different New Years resolutions I made for this year and posted on this blog. One of my goals was to get my A1C (a measurement of blood glucose average), down to 5.5. My first A1C of the year was 5.6, then 5.8 and now I’m guessing it’s significantly higher. I really need to get a grip on my blood sugar and get healthy gain. Mu numbers have been running way too high and I feel it. I’m still doing the low carb/ ketogenic diet but I haven’t been counting my carbohydrates or protein and I have not been eating similar meals at the same time which all are things that contribute to balanced blood sugar. I’ve mostly been making myself a meal, looking at it and guessing how much carbs and protein is it in and then estimating how much insulin to take. Not a great way to go about it. I’ve been busy though and what mom has time to stand in the kitchen measuring and weighing every piece of her food!? I know some people do a great job at it but the reality is I don’t want to make time for that. I don’t want to cut back on anything else in my life to take time for that but my health is suffering for it.

I have a plan though and that’s what I wanted to share with you! I made a meal plan of 3 different meals and went to Kroger and stocked up on ingredients. I came home and spent an exhausting afternoon cooking myself about a month’s worth of meals and carefully measuring everything out and writing down how much insulin to take for each meal. That way all I will have to do is get it out and take the pre determined amount of insulin for it. I’m hoping this is going to help me.

 

I have 3 1/2 more months to get my A1C down to 5.5 and meet my goal for the year. 30 days from now- October 13th, I’m going to buy myself a home a1c test from Wal-Mart and see if after putting in 30 days of hard and consistent work if I can get that 5.5. Stay tuned and cheer me on!

Last night I ate my bowl of soup, salad and low carb biscuit. Overnight my blood sugar rose to 250 by morning. (That’s almost 170 points higher than my goal blood sugar.) With that information instead of taking 5 units of insulin for dinner I will take 6 units of insulin for dinner and since I did a lot of that rising (according to my continuous glucose monitor) towards morning, I’ll raise my long lasting insulin by 2 units. That’s how insulin adjustments go. It’s not an exact science, just trial and error but consistent meals will take out some of the variables.

I do realize that things will come up that will cause me to have to guess at meals. T mentioned going on a date and going out to eat before he goes back on his other schedule. I can’t turn that down! 🙂 I’ll get a salad and do my best to dose insulin but it is what it is. (Unless we have a picnic date.. that’s a possibility!) Also, I haven’t decided yet about lunch for Sunday when our church shares a potluck meal. I may just enjoy whatever low carb option I bring or someone else brings without worrying about perfect blood sugar that afternoon. Although, I have noticed that Sunday’s can particularly exhausting not only because it’s a long day but different foods do cause some roller coaster blood sugars. I may have to decide that one come Sunday. One different meal a week especially if I keep it low carb won’t ruin my average blood sugar overall.

Put your goals (big or small!) that you’re working towards in the comments and we’ll encourage each other and keep each other accountable!